Yesterday Pat Robertson claimed God warned him that a "mass killing" would occur in the US this fall. I will never understand why some people think they have a direct line to God that the rest of us don't. Even more confounding is that others give them money. Any religious figure who says "God only speaks directly to me" is an obvious con artist. And of course the dawn of a new year also brings about a spate of predictions from "psychics" that no one ever bothers to go back and check on. Funny how God didn't warn Pat Robertson about 9/11 or the 2004 tsunami; none of the "psychics" saw them coming either. Funny.

Turns out Pat isn't the only one the big man speaks to. I was talking (virtually) to my old pal Rob when God, or maybe it was Satan, starting giving us images of things to come in 2007. Like Pat's & the psychic's predictions we didn't get any specifics, just images swirling in our feeble minds:

• News
  • Violence in the Middle East
  • Bad weather (note: one day of bad weather anywhere fulfills this prophecy)
  • Stock market goes up some days and down others
  • Incessant news stories about who's running for president next year
  • "Bird Flu" scares
  • Gas prices will rise and fall
  • In summer we'll hear a lot of stories about global warming 
  • Republicans will accuse Democrats of causing all of society's ills
  • Democrats will accuse Republicans of causing all of society's ills
• Entertainment
  • Celebrity divorces
  • Highly overrated action film will be a summer blockbuster
  • Something controversial will be said or done at a televised award show
  • Celebrity bad-mouths President Bush
  • Older celebrities die
  • A TV show will become popular
  • Entertainment industry complains it's losing money from piracy
  • Bad horror film will get a sequel, possibly direct to DVD
  • New VH1 reality show starring a washed-up celebrity, or maybe someone who's just famous for being famous.. either way the star is someone with no discernable talent
  • MTV will air yet another show about people who don't get along living in the same house
  • A new show on Fox will be cancelled before the 10th episode
• Sports
  • Cubs do not win the world series
  • A professional athlete will be arrested
  • Sports media becomes obsessed with a team that was bad last year and suddenly good this year
  • Ratings for Arena Football on Monday Night not close to NFL Monday Night ratings
• Technology
  • Apple unveils new iPod design
  • People buy more high-def TVs than in 2006
  • Security updates for Microsoft Vista
  • Someone will accuse a video game for making them or someone else murder people
• Misc
  • A new weight loss program will become popular
  • A video of either a gruesome death or a famous person naked will make its rounds on the Internet
  • World does not end
  • Aliens do not colonize the planet
  • Giant asteroid does not hit the Earth

Check this page in January 2008, I bet we nailed every one of these. Well, if we missed on the last three then don't bother checking. If we're wrong, we'll gladly admit to being frauds.

Wait a second, I'm getting another message from God.. he says "Pat Robertson is a douche".

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