Sometime earlier this year I came across a few old issues of Game Player's
magazine. Maybe it was at a garage sale, maybe a thrift store, I don't
remember any more. I figured I'd scan and post the interesting parts. After
doing their
Nintendo Strategy Guides I
remembered how tedious scanning a magazine is. The actual scanning is
monotonous, but the real killer is trying to come up with comments for each
page. Sure I don't have to, but then what would people send me hate mail
about?
I decided to leaf through the magazines and scan anything that appeared
interesting. Along the way I found that one of them was the
premiere issue of the publication. That's kinda interesting so I decided to
scan the whole thing... until monotony set in again. So I resigned to only
scan the good parts. I'm sorry, that means you'll have
to miss out on the Super Mario Bros. walkthrough. I know that finding Super
Mario Bros. walkthroughs on the internet is nearly impossible and I
apologize if you were counting on this page to finally defeat Bowser after
20+ years of trying.
The cover is in pretty rough shape but the rest of the magazine is fine.
For some reason the previous owner felt it important to highlight that
this was dedicated to "Video and Computer Entertainment"."Hey,
this thing says it's the 'Leading Magazine', what bunch of BS.. oh wait,
'of Video and Computer Entertainment', OK I'll believe that"
Table of contents, so you can see the sections I didn't bother scanning.
Trust me, the "Nintendo Game of the Month: Super Mario Bros." really
wasn't worth the effort.
I spent too much time internally debating whether to blur the swastika
image on the side of the rocket. I'm a libertarian and strongly believe
in supporting free speech, even highly offensive free speech. In this
case, the image isn't even there to offend or intimidate anyone. It's an
old DOS game where the storyline involves nazis in some capacity (the
review is further down). At worst it's tasteless. However, there are
a couple European countries where the symbol is banned. It would be so
stupid to have my site blacklisted over something like this. You win
this round censorship.
A very ambitious welcome letter from the editor. Looking at
his
resume, he sounds overqualified to run a video game magazine. Then
again, what the hell am I doing writing about him writing for a game
magazine? I should be doing technology whitepapers or another AI thesis.
How screwed-up are my priorities? Let's just move on..
So if this was the premiere issue, where did they get these letters?
They either stole a sack of mail from GamePro or had some contact
information in their previously published
Nintendo Strategy
Guides.
The next two pages are basically explaining how much better gaming is in
Japan. The internet certainly has been an equalizing force in this
regard. With a limited flow of information most American gamers didn't
realize how badly we were getting the shaft back then.
I don't care what anyone says, I prefer the US release of Super Mario
Bros. 2 over the Japanese version. If I ever make a list of "Top 10
most annoying classic gamers" the "SMB2 purist" will be
right up there with the guy lecuturing about how "Final Fantasy III for the SNES isn't the
real Final Fantasy III".
No reference to these commercials in his
IMDB
page.
Preview of Bionic Commando. I said all I had to
last time.
Over to the preview for Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. I'm not
which was worse, the game or the movie? I never bought the Indiana Jones
DVD set because I knew I'd never watch Temple of Doom (roughly the same
reason why I never bought the Back to the Future set).
More Indiana Jones, I can't tell the difference between screenshots 2
and 3 here.
Rampage turned out pretty good on the NES, one of the better arcade
conversions.
One sign of a bad game.. it contains "Bandai" in the title.
There are two really awesome mistakes on this page. And I don't
include referring to Alf as "popular".
Once again, American gamers got the shaft in the late 80s. This page
teases the Sega Genesis (Mega Drive) which had been in Japan for months
at this point.
This page is all Power Strike coverage. I don't recall ever playing this
game, that third screenshot sure looks an awful lot like Xevious.
"Big news: The Atari 7800 Pro System is making a comeback!"
I think for it to be a "comeback" you have to have been on top
at some point. George Foreman made a comeback, Peter McNeeley can't. See
how that works? Don't get me wrong, the Atari 7800 is a fun system but
it never stood a chance against the NES. From a play control standpoint,
the 7800 version of Double Dragon was debatably better than the NES or SMS
versions making it a bright spot in the otherwise mediocre library.
Graphically, it's pretty obvious why it tanked though.
Some coverage of After Burner in the arcade.
Cyberball was a great arcade game - keep in mind it was not produced by
the same "Atari" as the one trying to keep the 7800 on
life-support.
I used to have an Amiga 500 and Dragon's Lair but I ebayed it all last
year. It's not that I didn't like the Amiga, I hadn't played it in close
to 10 years and it took up a lot of space. Having room for video
games took priority over keeping an old dusty computer around. This was
a really good version of Dragon's Lair though, the Amiga looked so much
better than the rival computing platforms at the time.
Seriously, compare these screens to the PC and Mac ones below. Not even
close.
"The Manhole" is a terrible game title for reasons I
won't go into. Score another round for voluntary censorship.
I just noticed that they put the game developer's address on these
reviews. This address is now a carpet distributor.
The last place listed at this former Tecmo address is a photocopier servicing
company.
Can't seem to track down who's in the former Vic Tokai office. Looks
to be in an office park that has high turnover.
I had no idea Sega had an office in Minnesota. It now houses and
agricultural risk management firm. I wonder if there was a time when one
of the new occupants stumbled across a rare prototype cartridge while
going through an old file cabinet. Hmmm, this sounds like an ideal plot
for a terrible web comic.
Alright, enough looking up old addresses. This one is in King of Prussia
so I'll just assume it's a Coach store now. This Twilight Zone game is
either great or a complete disaster, I'll have to find a copy and try.
I played Ultima III and liked it quite a bit, never managed to try the
other ones though except part IV on
NES
& SMS. The old Ultima games would be perfect for a mobile
device.. which means we'll never see it happen.
Here's the game with the offending nazi imagery. The plot sounds like an
unorganized mess, the last episode of Twin Peaks made more sense.
I thought it was great how the old Infocom games included extras in the
box that were involved in the actual game play. It was such a great way
to submerge the player into the story. Star Saga seems to multiply that
by 20 and I'm not sure that's a good thing.
That "Search for the Titanic" game sounds like something that
would fit in perfectly with the CD-i library. That's not a compliment to
the game or the CD-i.
How can they write a piece called "Hand-Held Games are Back!"
and not mention the Game Boy which was months away from its US release?
It was hot off the assembly line in Japan and would make these other
crappy LCD games obsolete.
Hey, is that "Hostage" game the
same as "Rescue: The Embassy Mission"?
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